A New Day

Sunday July 31st
I awoke happy today and was blessed beyond measure. Church was wonderful! I was a little late for church though cause I felt like I should stop by Isaac's house to say bye since he was leaving for boot camp today, but he wasn't home and I was running too late I couldn't wait for him to get home cause I was giving a talk in Sacrament meeting. I was told I have the gift of speech, I was grateful someone pointed that out, so that I can use that gift to bless others lives and thank my heavenly Father for the gift. Maddie has been following me around the past few days and wanting hugs, reading scriptures with me, taking naps with/by me, I think Heavenly Father is trying to show his love for me through her, a child, pure and wonderful. I am so grateful for His love for me and for her:) I was frustrated with the way I look in pictures still, I just am a lot bigger than I used to be (going from anorexic to binge eating and medication issues with weight) and I really struggle with my pictures. I was frustrated that I look so big and my sisters are so small, then the story came to my mind from President Monson
"One evening a truly awful-looking old man came to the door asking if there was room for him to stay the night. He was stooped and shriveled, and his face was lopsided from swelling-red and raw. He said he'd been hunting for a room since noon but with no success. "I guess it's my face," he said. " I know it looks terrible, but my doctor says it could possibly improve afer more treatments."... Mary realized this little old man had an oversized heart crowded into that tiny body... He indicated he'd be happy to sleep in the rocking chair on the porch..."I ran short of pots, and knowing how beautiful this one would be, I thought it wouldn't mind starting in this old pail"... Mary smiled as she imagined just sucha scene in heaven. "Here's an especially beautiful one," God might have said when He came to the soul of the little old man. "He won't mind starting in this small, misshapen body." But that was long ago, and in God's garden how tall this lovely soul must stand." I realized how silly I was being. I had wanted to put new pics on facebook for a boy to see a pic more recent of me that was pretty... but I realized I need him to see the real me, and I think God is trying to teach me that. I am grateful God knows what he's doing, and for his protection over me because without Him I would be lost.
Saturday July 30th
I awoke to a loving family who willingly left the Alsea early this morning so that I could make it to work on time. As I got out of the car I departed with a Huge hug from an admiring, loving little sister. I came to work blessed to work with an amazing team headed by an fabulous leader, Janey. Lunch was once again on the beach, one of the most beautiful places on the planet. God loves me.

Friday July 29th
Family outing at the Alsea. After receiving a blessing from Dad last night the Lord guided me on how to help my current situation. I am having hormonal problems still, which cause me to miss work on Thursday. Thanks to the Cranes it all worked out okay. They were amazing! I was able to sleep most the day and that was much needed. Anyways, I was pretty mad today and frustrated that I felt to mad, I was eating like crazy and realized I needed my anxiety medication. It totally was the answer. Luke, Tyler and I had a great time going up the river to Karen's cabin where some awesome rapids are. Conner and I had fun jumping into a smaller rapid and Covina and Allie and I laughed for at least a half hour straight, jumping in and out of the water and having a good time. Dad and I played a game of pool and that was great (He wanted to go in the canoe with me but we didn't end up getting to it, I felt special knowing that he wanted to though) and mom braided my hair. Isaiah is such a ham, he is so fun to be around, all of his funny jokes and comments. I love my family so much and am so blessed to have them in my life.

Life is good:) Allie and I had a fun walk to the post office, I finally sent out the book I got Chad, "If God Loves Me Why This?" We had fun beating eachother every time we spotted a yellow car or a bug. (Yellow bugs you get two punches)! We had a good talk, she loves me so much and wants to help me be better so bad. She cried today while she was telling me how painful it is to see me hurting and struggling. I love her so much and am so grateful that she is here. Melissa, Megan and I went to Tangled, it is super cute. I was starving so we went to walmart afterwords to get some food. We have such a good time together. We went to the toy section and Melissa and I wanted to get princess barbies, but we restrained:) They had Princess Tiana and the girl from Tangled too! One of them, when you pushed the button on her chest made her sing and made her hair light up! I miss being a kid. After we got back we had Relief society prayer, which is what our relief society does every monday through thursday night. We meet, read a spiritual thought and pray together. 3 girls come consistently, and it is fun getting to know them: Heather, Sarah and Jana. Following that Jaren wanted me to take her to the store for some eye liner so I agreed. She talked to me about boys and how I need to think about other things that are more healthy to think and worry about. We laugh alot together. While we were driving, the car died!!!! I was pulling into the Dairy Queen drive through, cause she wanted some ice cream and it just died. We thought, oh it needs gas, so we took it to the gas station, and it died right when we pulled in. So put $7 in. I was worried about putting too much in cause Jaren said put two gallons in and so when I got nervous about going over I pulled it out without stopping it all the way so, yeah, some gas got spilled. She hates the smell of gas and it got on her hands because of me. So we tried to go to dairy queen again, and when we got in the turning lane it died again.... So we started the car up again and pulled into Dairy Queen and as I was parking it died.....again. I had to hit the brakes hard so it would stop and I wouldn't run into the wall! (I would have hit the parking block but it looked like I was going to hit the wall). We walked into dairy queen and asked brent to come and get us and so he did and he drove the car home and we followed in his car. His car is amazing! It's a lexus and when you turn the car on the steering wheel moves! It's like on Batman when he is being chased by police and trying to save Rachel!!! Okay its not quite that intense but I feel like batman none the less. That was my eventful night, with lots of laughing included and a few tears:) Night!

Updated picture of me, trying something new with my hair

Allies Birthday

Happy birthday Allie! She got a German Pancake for her birthday, chicken noodle soup, bread sticks, cheesecake and some friends over too. I decorated the living room for her:) I think she had a good day.

My 4 hours of Luxury!

So I was going to be at the airport for a very long time, and I was exhausted after a week at Disney world and talking to my boyfriend really late every night..... So I got a hotel room that was in the hotel for about 4-6 hours and slept for two of them, then worked out, jumped in their awesome pool on the deck, outside, it was beautiful, and got ready then headed off to security check before my flight!!! An expensive day! It was so not smart, but I felt like the kid on home alone 2! Crazy! Don't make decisions when you are tired....

My little Lincoln