A New Day

Sunday July 31st
I awoke happy today and was blessed beyond measure. Church was wonderful! I was a little late for church though cause I felt like I should stop by Isaac's house to say bye since he was leaving for boot camp today, but he wasn't home and I was running too late I couldn't wait for him to get home cause I was giving a talk in Sacrament meeting. I was told I have the gift of speech, I was grateful someone pointed that out, so that I can use that gift to bless others lives and thank my heavenly Father for the gift. Maddie has been following me around the past few days and wanting hugs, reading scriptures with me, taking naps with/by me, I think Heavenly Father is trying to show his love for me through her, a child, pure and wonderful. I am so grateful for His love for me and for her:) I was frustrated with the way I look in pictures still, I just am a lot bigger than I used to be (going from anorexic to binge eating and medication issues with weight) and I really struggle with my pictures. I was frustrated that I look so big and my sisters are so small, then the story came to my mind from President Monson
"One evening a truly awful-looking old man came to the door asking if there was room for him to stay the night. He was stooped and shriveled, and his face was lopsided from swelling-red and raw. He said he'd been hunting for a room since noon but with no success. "I guess it's my face," he said. " I know it looks terrible, but my doctor says it could possibly improve afer more treatments."... Mary realized this little old man had an oversized heart crowded into that tiny body... He indicated he'd be happy to sleep in the rocking chair on the porch..."I ran short of pots, and knowing how beautiful this one would be, I thought it wouldn't mind starting in this old pail"... Mary smiled as she imagined just sucha scene in heaven. "Here's an especially beautiful one," God might have said when He came to the soul of the little old man. "He won't mind starting in this small, misshapen body." But that was long ago, and in God's garden how tall this lovely soul must stand." I realized how silly I was being. I had wanted to put new pics on facebook for a boy to see a pic more recent of me that was pretty... but I realized I need him to see the real me, and I think God is trying to teach me that. I am grateful God knows what he's doing, and for his protection over me because without Him I would be lost.
Saturday July 30th
I awoke to a loving family who willingly left the Alsea early this morning so that I could make it to work on time. As I got out of the car I departed with a Huge hug from an admiring, loving little sister. I came to work blessed to work with an amazing team headed by an fabulous leader, Janey. Lunch was once again on the beach, one of the most beautiful places on the planet. God loves me.

Friday July 29th
Family outing at the Alsea. After receiving a blessing from Dad last night the Lord guided me on how to help my current situation. I am having hormonal problems still, which cause me to miss work on Thursday. Thanks to the Cranes it all worked out okay. They were amazing! I was able to sleep most the day and that was much needed. Anyways, I was pretty mad today and frustrated that I felt to mad, I was eating like crazy and realized I needed my anxiety medication. It totally was the answer. Luke, Tyler and I had a great time going up the river to Karen's cabin where some awesome rapids are. Conner and I had fun jumping into a smaller rapid and Covina and Allie and I laughed for at least a half hour straight, jumping in and out of the water and having a good time. Dad and I played a game of pool and that was great (He wanted to go in the canoe with me but we didn't end up getting to it, I felt special knowing that he wanted to though) and mom braided my hair. Isaiah is such a ham, he is so fun to be around, all of his funny jokes and comments. I love my family so much and am so blessed to have them in my life.