It's time I wrote again

Times were rough and I quit writing.... I couldn't see the good enough to write about it. Then I forgot about writing for awhile and would think of it now and again but today I need to share what happened for me an it is extraordinary. So things have been real rocky. Holding a regular full time job hasn't been in my capacity, nor has school full time but I did get my associates after years and years. The Lord knew I needed that and helped me make that milestone.... Anyways, life got dark. I lost purpose, and wanted to be dead. I wanted The Lord to just take me! I felt I'm not needed here... But I went to the temple because I have had Promptings to go and reminders of it often. My circumstances have not changed since my trip today but The Lord changed me. I knew and he knew I couldn't do this alone, I knew I had given up lately at trying because I was in such despair I was just passing through the motions, not knowing when it would end. I told The Lord I would work harder at my goals ( very simple ones but necessary) scripture study (not just listening to talks but reading (I struggle focusing) and studying because I knew and know he will help me if I sit down and try. Going to bed earlier and studying something. So what changed in me? He gave me will when I had none. He gave me hope when I saw no light. (I wanted To see purpose in all I was doing as where it would get me and where I was going next and what I would so with my life... Until I could face today how could I face the future? The Lord brought me into perspective and focus). The pioneers got up everyday to face the same thing, a trail of dirt and mud and little food and heat and snow and rivers to cross. Why did they keep pushing? God and their covenants which brought light and hope. This hope God has given me is nothing other than a miracle! If the pioneers could do that and face Hell everyday but face it with God and come off conqueror than so shall I. I start now. Focused with an eye single to God. Only On Him. One step at a time. This is the first step he has given me and I will focus on this goal and seek his aid to accomplish it with all my might everyday until I die if that is what he asks, though I feel there is something just beyond the horizon. There is hope. He is the source of hope and he has shown me the step in keeping it burning. I must push out the thoughts that try to cloud my spirit and let God take me where I need to God. They that wait upon The Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not fain.- Isaiah 40:31